


addict

by nicehcuse



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-17
Updated: 2016-08-17
Packaged: 2018-08-09 07:49:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7793029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nicehcuse/pseuds/nicehcuse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A lot of things didn't make sense to Tyler.</p>
            </blockquote>





	addict

**Author's Note:**

> i never usually write joshler lmao this is actually the first time im doing this so just. be gentle  
> \--alright so ive written a few more things after writing this and i realize how shit this is im so sorry man,,, go read my other stuff if u want quality bc it isnt here.

                A lot of things didn’t make sense to Tyler. Like why his father spent so much money on alcohol, or why he liked boys instead of girls, or why his dad hated that so much about him, or why he stopped being homeschooled but still didn’t go to public school. He never asked questions out loud, he just assumed that’s how things were. When he was younger, he assumed everyone went through it. Until he asked Josh.

                “Did your mom leave too? Sorry, that’s kind of a personal question, I didn’t mean to invade or anything.” Josh gave him a confused look, and Tyler thought it would be followed by a simple, “How did you know?” But it wasn’t.

                “Your mom… She left?” Tyler was scared. He thought he said something wrong or maybe he was different or he shouldn’t have said something so personal. He wasn’t scared, he was horrified. His voice hurt and his saliva felt like acid and his teeth felt like claws and his tongue felt like a blade. When he tried to speak, words felt like hissing and he was horrified.

                “I’m sorry,” was all he could manage, running from Josh’s front porch, down the road towards his house. He ran past his wasted father who was passed out on the couch. He threw the bathroom door open before hunching over the toilet and throwing up his dinner and everything that made him feel calm. Everything in his mind pointed to him losing Josh and he was screaming with anxiety. He crawled back to his room and started a new entry in his journal. The other entries were full of length and compelling words, but this time all he wrote in shaky letters was, “I lost him.”

-

                Josh left a note on his front door about wanting to talk to him whenever he was ready. Tyler wasn’t ready. He wouldn’t be ready. He wanted to talk to him about how stupid and invasive and naïve he was. Everything seemed that way. But he talked to him.

                Stumbling up his porch steps wasn’t a new thing to Tyler, but the left over smell of bile was. Josh rubbed his thumb against Tyler’s wrist.

                “I’m sorry.” He didn’t want to hear that. Tyler said it last time, Josh shouldn’t have to apologize for _his_ mistakes. He continued, “I don’t know what it’s like to go through that. Have you ever considered therapy or something?” Tyler jerked his hand away.

                “I don’t _need_ therapy. My mom left and that’s it. I’m fine, Josh.” He knew he was bitter for no reason. He knew Josh just wanted to help.  But he didn’t need help. He could help himself. He had been for the past six years.

                “I won’t tell you what to do, but I just want to help you-“

                “Maybe I should leave. Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. Bye, Josh.” He raced down the steps, almost as fast as he had when he asked about his mother.

                This entry started with, “I left today. I shouldn’t have done that.” He signed his name with black ink and closed it, crying himself to sleep.

-

                Josh came to his porch this time. He never did that, Tyler never wanted him to meet his dad. His dad wasn’t home, so Tyler had to see him.

                “Where’s your dad?”

                “Out,” came the simple reply.

                “Come with me. I want to show you something.” Tyler swallowed his words. He wanted to say, “I can’t,” he wanted to find an excuse to not go. He wanted to say “I’m sorry, my mom said no,” but his mom wasn’t in the picture. So he went. He had let him down enough already, he couldn’t do it again.

                Josh took him to his house, inside and up to his room, making eye contact with his mom. It was a crushing reminder that Josh _had one_ and Tyler had nothing.

                Josh pulled out an old notebook and opened it to the first page before giving it to Tyler.

 

                June 12th

                                I met this guy named Tyler today. He walked down my street so I said hi. He seemed kind of scared of me, maybe he’s not a people person. He’s really cool though.

                June 13th

                                He walked down here again, it’s kind of weird I’ve never seen him before. I found out he lives in that one brick house down the street. I thought guy who lives there is always at Walmart getting alcohol. Maybe that’s his dad. I hope not.

                Josh told him after this entry that not all of them were about him, but he dog eared the ones that were. So Tyler skipped to the next dog ear.

                June 18th

                                Tyler and I talk a lot now. He walks down my street every day and I’m always outside. We started talking about girls and stuff, he got really uncomfortable. Maybe he likes guys. I hope so.

                June 24th

                                I think I heard pills in his pocket today, it could’ve been keys or something though. I’m kind of scared for him. His hands fidget a lot when he comes over. He never comes inside though, he just stays on the porch and we talk until it gets dark. He’s never met my parents either, but I want him to. I wanna meet his parents too, I hope they like me.

                June 28th

                                I asked him if he wanted to meet my parents and he got really scared and shook his head. He left early today.

                June 30th

                                He didn’t come by yesterday, I think I freaked him out. I hope I’m not coming on too strong. I’m starting to think I really like him.

                July 4th

                                I told him I was gay, he was fine with it. He came out to me too. Maybe that’s why he got so scared when I asked him about girls.

                July 8th

                                I wanna tell him I like him but I think now is the wrong time. He asked me if my mom left too, which was weird, but I think I understand him better now. I wanna talk to him.

                July 10th

                                I waited a day or so before trying to talk. I just left a note on his door. I hope he’ll come back.

                July 11th

                                He came back but left really early. He got upset when I wanted to help. I shouldn’t pry into his life but I’m scared for him. I’m in love with him.

                July 13th

                                I think I’m gonna show him all this tomorrow. I really hope I don’t regret this. I love you, Tyler.

                Tyler looked up and the second he saw Josh’s eyes all anxiety flooded away. He dropped the book and wrapped his arms around Josh’s neck before placing his lips on his. He pulled away smiling.

                “If only we were real.”


End file.
